"Do not let your adornment be merely outward - arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel - rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." 1 Peter 3:3-4 What is the gentle and quiet spirit? Another way of saying "gentle and quiet spirit" is humility and submission. But truthfully, many women view the word submission as a dirty word. They think that having a gentle and quiet spirit means that we have to be weak...spineless if you will. They think that they cannot say anything and are always to give in to a man's every whim and desire, even to the point of being doormats. Some take the offense to such an extreme that they go entirely the opposite direction, becoming belligerent, refusing to submit to any authority (especially male) that is placed over them. Society refers to them as "feminists". They refuse any help from a man, believing this would show a weakness. Assuming all men are chauvinist, they get angry when a man show even common courtesy. Neither of these are examples of the precious quality of the gentle and quiet spirit that God desires.
When I first discovered the phrase “gentle and quiet spirit” in the Bible, I was quite intimidated by it. I was sure that I was disqualified because I was loud...I laughed loud, I talked loud and I would much rather be outside with the boys being rough and tumble than talking about fashion, makeup and hair with the girls. As I grew up, I saw the ladies around me being sweet, speaking in quiet tones, doing crafts and talking about children and baking, etc. I was so distressed by this feeling of inadequacy. Why couldn't I be gentle and quiet like they were? They must be truly spiritual women. Then something miraculous happened: God spoke to my inadequacy and said, “I said gentle and quiet spirit…not personality!” I was stunned. I realized then, that I was reading it wrong. He was talking about something much different than I had understood; something more than my outward personality. He was talking about my inward motivation when interacting with others. The definition of submission is "humility...yielding oneself to another." Submission is really an act of trust and many women need healing in the area of trust because of childhood or marital abuse or just the trauma of life circumstances. It is more about fear of letting go and allowing someone else to take some control. We're afraid that if we do yield to them, we will lose it all and we can't let that happen again. But how wonderful to have a Father in heaven who loves us so much that he gave everything to see us be healed. He gives us the greatest example of love and submission by the giving of his Son, Jesus and Jesus teaches submission to the will of the Father that we may be forgiven of our sins and healed of our wounds. And if he loves us that much, we can feel safe to practice submitting to him so that we can learn to submit to others and truly loving them. We can learn to be compassionate because of his compassion for us. To be forgiving because of his forgiveness toward us. To listen and be tender because he hears our prayers... not only listens, but answers, and is kind to us. The gentle and quiet spirit could also be categorized as tender, compassionate, able to listen and grace. This is where a woman’s true beauty is found. The Bible, in 1 Peter 3:3-4, calls it an incorruptible ornament. God considers this to be very precious and these days it seems to be very rare. It's not saying that a women can't wear jewelry, nice clothes or make-up. It's just saying that those things are temporary...just the outward cover. The lasting beauty is in one's character. The author states that the emphasis should be in the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is…get this…is very precious in the sight of God. How does one find such a rare decoration? Can one really possess such beauty? YES!!! How? By learning how to be humble at heart and realize that submission is NOT an ugly word. Submission...the Gentle and Quiet Spirit...is truly one of lasting beauty and the woman who possesses it holds something very precious in the sight of God. It's like a rare and expensive ruby but worth so much more. "Be still and know that I am God. I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world." "Be still..." What does that mean? We say it to our children when they are getting too fidgety, but is that what Scripture meant in this passage? I wonder if it means to quiet our hearts and open our ears? I think, in order to KNOW that he is God, we have to be able to hear him whisper as a lover whispers in the ear of his beloved. There is an intimacy in that whisper. But if we're always talking, always moving about, how can we hear? I also think that the implication is that we focus our complete attention on Him. Kind of like when we tell our children to look at us when we are speaking to them. God has some pretty important things to say to us. This isn't just about sitting still, either. He's wanting us to quiet our minds, hearts and LISTEN. Like the verse that talks about a gentle and quiet spirit. It's talking about attentiveness and observation.
How attentive are we to the things of God? To the things he wants to whisper in our ear? Can we hear his voice over the roar of our own thoughts? Are we being attentive to the quiet instead of being so busy we run ourselves ragged. What rules you? The peace of God that passes all understanding? Or the frustrations and stresses of this world and of all we have to accomplish that day? The kids, the husband, the job, the housework, the....you put in your own "stuff". You know what I am saying. You've been there. You're probably there right now. Why don't you take a moment...take a few moments...and quiet your heart before God and let him whisper in your ear. Be attentive. You never know what wonderful, intimate things he has to speak to you. Let him love you in that quietness. "Be still...and KNOW...that I am GOD." For those of you who don't know, I am in the process of writing a book. It's a life manual, actually, for anyone who needs some help discovering who you really are and what your individual gifts are. Everyone has a purpose. God designed you for something wonderful and specific. Something only you could do. One of my favorite subjects to speak on and write about is realizing you have gifts and discovering what those gifts are. The motto for Daughters of Destiny is, "Discover your purpose, pursue your dreams, fulfill your destiny!"
The first step in fulfilling your destiny is to recognize your value and that you have a purpose in life specifically designed by God. After that, you are more able to feel the freedom to dream. Everyone dreams, when they are little, about that thing you would like to do when you grow up. However, too often, life happens and bad experiences squash the life out of our dreams. When that happens, we are left to feel worthless and like we don't deserve to dream. But, I believe, God put those dreams in our hearts and no matter what the devil does to extinguish them, they are our dreams to accomplish and we need to believe in them! We just need to begin to see ourselves the way God sees us and to understand that his love for us goes beyond the ugly circumstances of our lives. Read Romans 8:35-39. This is a great picture of the breadth and depth of God's love for us. Once you understand your worth and discover your purpose, and find the freedom to dream again, you can pursue your dreams...go after them. As you go after them, you begin to fulfill your destiny. That destiny that was designed only for you...to draw others to Christ and his love. You not only feel compassionate towards others, you begin to act on that compassion because you want others to experience the joy and satisfaction you have in Jesus. The vision and objective of Daughters of Destiny is this: "To encourage women to strive for excellence; to recognize and care for their inner beauty as they do their outward beauty; and to equip them with the tools needed to achieve their God-given purpose in order to become the Daughters of Destiny as God intended." You can check out the FACTS page to see what it's all about. I invite you to take some time to cruise this site and see what we are all about. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I'll catch up with you again next week. I'll be posting Scripture, quotes from my book and other useful information. Remember it only takes one moment to change your destiny. |
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